Monday, July 5, 2010

I Played The Fool

Welp, that sums up that, huh? Here's MckMama's "Not Me Monday" twitter:
I did NOT just possibly invite drama by what I posted to my blog this morning: (url removed). I'd NEVER do that. Not me!

And here's the bulk of her post, because I feel like an ass for caring for the last four days:
In our home, we have a rule that the main level is not the place for loud voices, toys strewn about or roughhousing. The rule is hard and fast and I never, ever make exceptions. I certainly did not make one yesterday before we left for our Fourth of July festivities by allowing Nuggey to jump off the arm of our couch.

Repeatedly. Nope. Not me!

We avoid potentially unsafe behavior of all types in our family, choosing always to be “better safe than sorry.”

This includes allowing our boys to rough and tumble and jump the way they want. I don’t stand for that, especially in our living room.

Not me!

And even if for some unknown reason, I did allow our children to explore their world and their bodies in such unsafe ways, I certainly wouldn’t risk getting the Worst Mother of the Year award by photographing the escapades and posting said photograph to my public blog! Not me.

Nope. I learned my lesson after posting these picnic table jumping photographs and I’ll never again stick my neck out there to be criticized in the comments of my own blog by other mothers who think they know better how to raise my children. Not me! I just can’t handle that kind of criticism.

Nope. I never post dramatic things to my blog partly for interest’s sake, either, nor would I link back to previous blog drama like the one above or the infamous wet trampoline pictures. I am a meek, mild and timid person who would never do such a thing. And our children, in their own ways, are clearly following in my footsteps. Those meek, mild, timid things.

Even if my husband and I did sometimes allow our living room to be converted some nights into a WWF arena or some days into a track and field stadium, complete with the long jump and high jump, we certainly wouldn’t make any excuses for that kind of reckless behavior on our part.


We’d never actually believe that part of the reason we haven’t had any serious injuries or broken bones (yet!) in our family is that we do allow our boys to explore their physical capabilities to their comfort level. Nope. We certainly don’t think that by letting kids be kids, they actually learn to nail safe landings, catch themselves when they fall and keep their own bodies relatively safe. Not us!

No risk of broken bone, skinned knee or wounded pride is enough for us to take the chance. I love my children too much to let them sometimes jump off couches under my supervision. I’d never let them do that.

After all, if I let Nuggey do it, I just might be setting his little brother up to follow in his footsteps.

And I’m most definitely not ready for another generation of crazy boy jumpers in my house.

Not me!!!

Here's my Not Me! Monday:

Jennifer, you're an idiot. The picture of your three-year-old jumping over his one-year-old brother's head?

Just proves that you don't give a flying eff about anyone but you. I pray you have saved the money you have been making off of your circus life to date and you will be able to continue to pay for your house so your children can continue to have a home. Obviously, your husband isn't going to be able to pay for your half a million dollar home, since he's a door-to-door contractor (read: "Ma'am, have you considered vinyl siding? Let me give you my card...") and not running off of referral business. You're in a contract-for-deed house, and you have NO options when (not if) you miss payments on this house, save mommy and daddy.

You have created your own hell, and you know what? While your smart-ass post may have given you readers today, it will be interesting to see who you LOSE over your holier-than-thou, screw all the caring readers who are not naysayers who commented on your children's safety in the past, bashfest.

As for "haven't had injuries", remind me again, wasn't it your family who has been to the emergency room twice this year for child-related injuries, or was that some other consistent liar with four and a half kids, four cars, two foreclosures, a husband with two Domestic Violence charges, and a dropping readership?

Your fifteen minutes are almost up. I predict you lose more than half of your remaining readership when you pop out "Oops #5", so you have until then to get it right. Turn your shipwreck around and become a real, respectable, honorable mommy blogger, or you're going to be in a hole which even your Jesus card won't be able to dig you out of.

To your caring friend who sought to help you out this week, here's my official answer: Sorry. She brings it on herself.

You have almost five children already, six when your husband plays the roll; you don't need another. Grow up.

Not that I would ever write that on my even-keeled, polite, non-bashing blog. Nope. Not Me.