Saturday, July 3, 2010

"Moms like me"

Comments are dangerously close to crashing again, so we need a new post. I thought it would be wonderful to share a few things commenters wrote this week that spoke to me (and others, based on the likes!). So here's the first, from September29:

Another reason I think the blog should stay open: Moms like me. I'm a work-at-home-mom - doing my best to take care of my kids and make a living at the same time. I was turned onto Jennifer's blog through Kayleigh Freeman's blog during one of Stellan's hospitalizations and it caught my attention. However, as I read through her older posts, and when he got out of the hospital and she returned to normal blogging subjects, I started to feel soooo inferior. First of all, the perfect diet they eat. There was a picture on her sidebar of this slender mom with her beautiful babies and all her posts were about this food they eat that I could not force myself or my family to eat. I struggle with my weight, and I do my best as far as getting my kids to eat healthy and she made me feel like I was failing because I wasn't doing it nearly as perfectly as she was! Then there was the amount of stuff she was able to get done while caring for so many young children (and one of them ill). The house always perfect, and them running from one fun activity to another. How? What was I doing wrong? My house is a wreck, the laundry is piled up and if I try to take them anywhere it just gets WORSE. And of course her awesome parenting techniques. So calm, so patient, she always knew what to do. I am a failure!!

Then - I saw one of those news videos of her. She appeared every bit as overweight as me! What?? Her weight is NOT relevant, and I would never criticize her weight because I too am overweight - BUT her hiding behind photoshop - not cool. And then I started thinking, how can she even be so overweight shen she lives on "woodland creature food?" Again, I only bring this up because it speaks to what she does to Moms like me.

Then there was that naysayers post, which sent me searching because something had started to seem a little off to me and I wasn't sure what exactly. I found OHIH, where I was mostly a lurker. But boy did I have my eyes opened! She wasn't better than me - she had help! She was LYING about so much, and making regular moms like me feel inferior. Making herself look like she could do sooooo much when really she had help. All those posts about their perfect food when clearly she is eating a normal diet just like me. And later having readers here point out those old posts about the spankings. So her parenting wasn't something that I aspired to anymore either.

And of course there is the issue of God healing Stellan because he was so loved - more loved than other babies. Thankfully this issue doesn't apply to me personally, but it does to so many others and I feel for them. This gives moms like them (and me) a place where they can see that its not US, its HER.

One more thing - the financial irresponsibility - thats a big one for me. I am SO glad I found out about that because I cannot go around idolizing someone who does things like that.

Oh, I thought of something else. The DV - that in itself is a private issue of course, but when she gives marital advice and tells wives to "submit" to their husbands, this is scary and dangerous, and once again this blog is a place for real women to see the truth so they don't follow that scary advice.